living proof

bleh.
have you ever wanted something really bad but realized that chance has it your never gunna get it…(that sounded kind of cool). well im the type of person that when i want something i want it bad. i will throw a fit over things that most other people would find to be of little importance but for me practically everything i care about is extremely important to me. example. b.c. of the whole internet, iTunes so on and so forth thing now ah-days not very many people actually buy cd’s. me on the other hand, now im not crazy i dont buy a cd everytime i want a song. i, for the most part mainly use iTunes but as ive mentioned in one of earlier blogs the kooks are my favorite band and so im buying their cds… all of them. i already own the original copy of their second cd konk and i plan on buying the bonus version of konk(i call it the red album) and i plan on buying their first cd inside in/inside out and a bonus version of that if there is one… i dont kno if there is. now all my friends are like wtf would you do that if you can just get it off of iTunes. what they dont understand is that i care a lot about this band and so i NEED their albums to feel as dedicated as i truly am.(oh and i need to pay for them as well)

i probably sound like a kook myself at the moment but im hoping that at least some one understands what i mean(ok abra no need to sound all sappy).

on another note though what i really started writing this blog for is like i said i tend to get fussy when i dont get what i want(i dont mean that in a spoiled brat kind of way. i mean when theres only one thing stopping me from getting what i want and i cant do anything about it.) im a “dreamer” i suppose you can say. you could ask my friends and they could tell you i have my future pretty much planned out. idk what it is it just makes me feel better. but so when i want  something, uhm perhaps a guy? yah i imagine every part of it. which of course would lead to disappointments. As i am a dreamer i am also exxtremely down-to-earth and realistic. maybe even a bit more then i should be. i of course believe that if you want something bad enough you will get it. but theres always that chance that you wont. so instead of dealing with the disapointmeant i suppose i simply stay away from it and go on imaginging it in my head…

hmmm. i think i dream to make myself feel better but deep down i dont truly believe in it. does that make any sense? …im pretty sure thats not very good for you. i am a bit cynical though and i am pessimisstic. well i shouldnt say that i am but i know thats how i appear to people around me but inside im actually quite the opposite. what does this mean what does this mean… i dont know yet. but ill figure it out.

well i just realized i like to talk about myself a lot. so sorry about that. im really tired. 

ME

“this time were not givin up. lets make it last forever. screamin’ halleijuah. we’ll make it last forever”
“thats what you get when you let your heart win… i drowned out all my sense away the sound of its beating.”
-paramore